He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
