I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
