im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
