im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
