I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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