508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
