That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
