Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
