Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
