fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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