I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
