thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
