I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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