Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize