I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
