; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
