i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
