I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize