just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
