Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
