the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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