So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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