she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
