you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
