You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
