hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
