i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize