I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's no shave November. This is our time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
