She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
