bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
