And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
