If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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