My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
