Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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