Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
