I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
