So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
