yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
