We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
