We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
