its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
