So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
