Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
