This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
