LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
