so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize