a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
