In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
