uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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