I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
