I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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