I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
