oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
