were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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