I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
