i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
