come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
honey bunches of taint.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
