I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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