I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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