my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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