you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I need moral support for this bender
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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