She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize