well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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