tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
