I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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