If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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