I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize