I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
