omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
