Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
