Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When are your genitals available?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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