no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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